Since the very first post, I have been intending to turn the best of this blog into a book. 150 posts later, I think I have enough material. While my goal is still the same, the shape up the project has altered in subtile, but significant ways.
First, I am not simply going to reprint what I have already posted here. Although, I do think that would make for some interesting reading. But I realized that I wanted something more than just an interesting read. I wanted to answer some questions. Truthfully, as the project progressed, I realized that there was only one question that I wanted to address. I wanted my religious friends and family to understand why I abandoned religion and became a non-theist.
I also wanted my friends to understand that it is not them; it’s me. I am not rejecting them. I am rejecting a way of thinking that contradicts how I understand the world to operate. I did not decide to disbelieve. I simply decided to acknowledge it. When I was a kid, I wanted to believe in Santa Clause, but never did. At some point, I acknowledged my disbelief and moved on with my life. I also wanted to believe I could fly without wings or a jetpack. I been on many rooftops, but never took that leap of faith, as I didn’t believe such flight was possible.
I spent most of a lifetime trying to believe in God, and often succeeding to the extent that I could. There is nothing that I wanted to believe more. There is nothing I tried harder to believe. I beat my mind into submission as best I could. I studied my religion and practiced it rigorously. I was a Pharisee of Pharisees.
I am now the staunchest of unbelievers. How did I get from there to here? What killed my god? That is the question that I want to address. When I was a believer, I couldn’t understand how a person could not believe in god. Anyone professing disbelief was just rebelling against the god they knew existed so they could freely indulge in a life of sin. I understand the people who now feel that way about me. They’re wrong just as I was. But I do understand it.
I want them to understand that there are other ways, besides dishonest rebellion, that a person can come to disbelieve in god. For me, it was unanswered questions. I spent a lifetime seeking answers to questions that good Christians didn’t want to address. They dismissed such questions as foolish, and to be avoided. When the questions were addressed, it was a desperate attempt to dismiss the question, not an honest investigation of the issue.
At some point, my pile of questions grew much larger than my pile of answers. The search for answers consumed me, and ultimately ended up killing god one question at a time. That is what this blog project has been for me. It is a way of compiling those god-killing questions into a format that is easy to read and understand.
My book is called, “Killing God, One Question at a Time”. It is not about making atheists, but the making of one particular atheist. It is about how my god was killed by these questions. Yours might survive them just fine.
I don’t just want you to understand me. I want you to understand others like me who have taken similar journeys. We are not lying about our disbelief so that we can live that life of sin we always wanted. We are living our lives with intellectual and emotional integrity. Like you, we want to believe anything that is true, and disbelieve everything that is not.
This book contains some of the questions that make atheists out of devout believers. Ignoring or being dismissive of these questions just makes more atheists. If you are a believer, you owe it to yourself to try and understand why others are not. While this work might provide ammunition for the evangelistic atheist, I really wrote it for the believer.
If Christians want to stop the bleeding from their ranks, they have to address these, and other god-killing questions. I want these questions to be addressed. I want the god debate to center around the issues that really matter. That is why I will be making the book available for free through the new blog. It will be all about the questions that kill faith. The blog and book will share the same name, “Killing God One Question at a Time”.
In addition to blogging the book, I will make it available on iBooks and Kindle for 99¢. There are ten questions in the free version. The ones purchased will get free updates that include the next ten questions as I write them. The final draft is done. But there is still a process to be completed for publication. Expect the new website any day. I will post a link to it once it is ready for visitors. I hope you will stop by.